Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but it can be fragile—easily broken and difficult to rebuild. Whether you're single and struggling to trust again after past disappointments or in a relationship working through challenges, trust requires open communication, consistency, and emotional vulnerability.
Building trust starts with self-awareness, setting clear boundaries, and giving people the opportunity to show reliability over time. When trust is broken, rebuilding it takes patience, accountability, and a commitment to healing, both individually and as a couple. While past hurts can create fear, true trust is nurtured through actions, honesty, and mutual respect.
1. Your Relationship w/ Trust
Our relationship with trust stems from our childhood and experiences in past relationships.
For example:
If you grew up watching your mom be cheated on, you may have an expectation that any man you’re with would cheat on you.
If you grew up seeing a loving marriage you may be too trusting in a relationship or give too much trust too soon and be let down easily.
The more cheating or distrust you’ve experienced in past relationships, the harder it becomes for you to trust a future partner.
Ask yourself: "What is your current mindset around trusting others specifically in a romantic relationship?"
2. How to Build Trust
I am a firm believer that you allow someone to show you if they can be trusted. Give trust, until or unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them. Otherwise there will be a wall up, you won’t be able to fully grow the relationship and you’ll stress over things that will keep you from giving your all or showing up as your best self.
Vulnerability
It’s important to talk about your relationship with trust (AKA trust issues) so that the other person is fully aware of your past history, any triggers, traumas or things that would lead to you feeling uncomfortable or unsafe in your relationship. Being vulnerable in this way will help build trust for the both of you. But this only works if both people are willing to go through this process. Someone who doesn’t find this type of conversation valuable, most likely is not interested in getting to know you or be with you long term.
Open Communication
Once you’ve talked about your past, you have to keep open communication to talk about your expectations, your needs and to be able to address things as they come up in relation to trust. Such as social media, PDA, relationships with people of the opposite sex, etc.
Consistency
Once you’ve been vulnerable and maintain open communication, it’s all about consistency. The longer you know someone, the stronger the bond and the more trust there is between you. The saying “only time will tell” is so true because someone can say anything to you, but watching how they show up CONSISTENTLY is the true determining factor of whether or not they can be trusted.
In Conclusion: You should start every relationship with a healthy amount of given trust and then allow the person to show whether that trust should decrease or increase based on their vulnerability, open communication and consistency.
3. How to Rebuild Trust
Once trust is broken, there is a chance for it to be restored through these 3 key factors:
Accountability
When trust is broken, the person who broke it MUST take accountability and show remorse for the actions that broke the trust. Taking accountability means acknowledging the mistake without making excuses and providing a path forward to redeem themselves. A genuine apology includes acknowledging the harm, expressing regret, and committing to change. Trust is rebuilt through consistent, trustworthy behavior over time.
Patience
Because it takes time to build trust in the first place, it will absolutely take time to rebuild it. The person who broke the trust must be willing to be patient just as much as the person who experienced the incident that broke it in the first place. Depending on the level of the incident, counseling may be requested by either party. If both parties aren’t willing to commit to the process of rebuilding trust, it’s not a relationship worth fighting for.
Actions vs Words
Don’t believe the words if the actions aren’t matching them. Also, don’t assume that the other person knows what actions you need to see in order for the trust to be rebuilt. You have to be specific and clear to ensure there is no confusion on what’s needed from either person to mend the relationship.
In Conclusion: No one is perfect and people in your life will definitely make mistakes and do things they aren’t proud of and wish they can take back. Only you can decide if a relationship is worth salvaging or not. But if someone breaks your trust and you choose to continue the relationship, you have to be willing to forgive, provide time for healing, remain patient and allow their actions to regain your trust.
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